Excalibur, Bryan Danielson and Tony Schiavone are on commentary

Revolution Recap, which ended with Ospreay’s return. Back at ringside, Ospreay came out with some massive pyro for the opening match of the show. 

The production straight away is coming across as weird to me, with strange shots of the crowd. Excalibur starts talking about Toni Storm as Ospreay is making his entrance, and throws it to Bryan Danielson who is completely lost, and doesn’t know where to pick the Toni Storm story up. Excalibur says Mina Shirakawa is going to take Toni Storm’s place later on in the show against Marina Shafir. Tony Schiavone references a backstage attack on Toni Storm. This was a clusterfuck with the commentators trying to talk about something completely unrelated to Will Ospreay’s big return. I thought the timing of the Toni Storm thing was all wrong, bring it up after the Ospreay match, sheesh.

Will Ospreay vs. Blake Christian

Back to Ospreay, my immediate thought is that he is meant to be back, but has a ton of tape all over his neck, so he’s clearly not 100%. Blake Christian is his opponent who doesn’t get an entrance. Blake hilariously flipped off Ospreay behind his back. The crowd loves Ospreay, Blake did a crazy dive to the outside, then went after Ospreay’s neck. Ospreay got the better of him before Christian managed a neckbreaker in the ring and took control. Christian has “Vanilla Baby” written all over his tights, I hope that’s his favourite flavour of Ice Cream. Ospreay fights back with a sequence of moves. Christian with a tornado DDT on the floor then a spring board 450 in the ring for a two. Hand-spring cutter for two. Bryan Danielson says Ospreay barely kicked out at 2. Excalibur says Ospreay has a target on his neck with the tape on it, and compares it to Kenny Omega’s return from Diverticulitis. Christian signals for his own version of a hidden blade and flips Ospreay off again, but Ospreay runs right through him with a hidden blade and then hits another for the 3 count.

Winner: Will Ospreay

Post-match Ospreay takes the mic, says he bloody well missed all of the fans he did. Targets Moxley and says that he doesn’t need a weapon to hurt someone’s neck, he does it with his FOOKIN' BARE 'ANDS M8. Moxley’s music plays and he and Yuta saunter out through the crowd. Ospreay runs into the crowd and intercepts them, takes out Yuta and drags Moxley into the ring, sets up for a Tiger Driver but PAC runs in and gives him a pump kick to the face.Then locks in the Brutalizer. Four security guards and three referees rush the ring to get him to break the hold. Bryan Danielson questions whether Ospreay came back from injury too soon, and Tony Schiavone says surely Ospreay knew there’d be multiple members of the Death Riders. Kind of makes Ospreay look like an idiot. Bang Bang Gang’s music plays as PAC is escorted by security. Ospreay then leaps onto PAC and they brawl to the back.

Bang Bang Gang (Juice Robinson & Ace Austin) vs. Death Riders (Jon Moxley & Wheeler Yuta)

Bang Bang Gang’s music plays again. I haven’t seen Juice Robinson in ages but he has a wonderful mullet. Ace Austin I’ve seen in New Japan but I didn’t know he was part of the BBG. It seems their opponents are the Death Riders, so when Moxley & Yuta came out were they just coming out for their match? Must have been a coincidence that Ospreay called them out. Yuta and Moxley jump the BBG as they make their entrance. Yuta starts with Juice in the ring, the man with not a lot of hair versus the man with ALL the hair. Also Juice is wrestling in plain black trunks which looks odd to me. They’ve got a bunch of tweets on the screen from fans, ugh.

Ace Austin is a new addition apparently to the BBG, he and Juice double team Yuta. Yuta manages to tag Moxley in who takes control of Juice. Juice hits a suplex and tags Austin in, who gets the better of Moxley, Yuta is in illegally and takes a DVD for his trouble. Austin wipes Moxley out on the outside, but then Yuta slams him into the steel steps.Yuta Sucks chants from the crowd. Death Riders work over Austin back in the ring. Moxley puts Austin in a Cloverleaf then transitions into an STF, then into a Crossface but Austin gets the ropes. Austin manages to get a hot tag to Juice who gets a nice crowd reaction. Juice gets the better of Yuta and the crowd chant for Juice as he delivers jabs. Daniel Garcia runs interference on the apron but gets jerked off (in the words of JR) by Austin Gunn who drops him with a punch then does the suck it taunt. Back in the ring Moxley tries to cheap shot Juice but Juice hits a left hand of God. Yuta eats one too, plus a Powerbomb, stacked cover but only a 2 count. Tony and Bryan put Juice over on commentary. Tag to Austin who does a dive off the top but Yuta got his knees up and tagged Moxley who went for a sleeper but Austin escaped and hit a kick off the ropes. Yuta takes Austin out with a knee, Juice tries to throw Yuta out but he rebounds, Moxley hits Juice with a cutter then Yuta hits a suicide dive to the outside to wipe Juice out. Back in the ring Moxley hits the death rider on Austin for the 3 count. Excalibur and Bryan say it was an impressive win.

Winners: Death Riders (Jon Moxley pinned Ace Austin)

Gabe Kidd promo saying he’s not scared of death. Says he wants to take Darby Allin’s soul. Is he related to Dwayne Johnson? Gabe challenged Darby to an unsanctioned coffin match. Back in the arena, Gabe challenges Darby to fight him in the parking lot and calls him a rat. Rats in the parking lot? Reminds me of a different time. There’s a lot to unpack here.

Kenny Omega promo from after Revolution talking about Swerve Strickland. Omega challenges Swerve to put his number one contendership on the line.

Back ringside, Excalibur says because Swerve beat Brody King he is the number one contender.

WONDERFUL MATCH OF THE SHOW
Gabe Kidd vs. Darby Allin - Coffin Match

They show a pretty rugged wooden coffin ringside. Gabe Kidd gets out of a Jeep in the parking lot, starts talking to the camera, then there’s a car horn and Darby is driving a car and tries to run Kidd down with it. They brawl briefly before Kidd slams Darby on the hood of his car and then hits a powerbomb on the hood and begins to choke him with both hands. Darby gouges his eyes and then chloroforms him and throws him into the trunk of his car. Darby says let’s ride. Tony Schiavone says this is nuts, Darby puts the car in reverse, then drives the car forward into a dumpster, the car then flips over and lands on its roof. Tony says “it just got nuttier”. Fans are chanting Holy Shit. Darby smashes one of the back windows of the car and crawls out. The trunk opens and Kidd falls out, which gets laughs from the crowd. Darby reached into the car so I’m assuming he opened the trunk? Kidd is acting like he’s dead. Darby just so happens to have a large storage box on wheels, which he puts Kidd on and starts wheeling him away. We cut to the commentators ringside and Tony is flabbergasted. Excalibur asks if they are even going to have a match. Tony says that was the most bizarre thing he’s ever witnessed, and he’s witnessed a lot. This is quite literally car crash TV.

Excalibur says Kidd will need medical attention. Will he really? Here comes Darby wheeling Kidd into the ringside area. Ring bell sounds and we have a match. Darby pulls a skateboard and a strait-jacket out of the storage case. Tony says he didn’t see what Darby pulled out, Excalibur tells him it was a strait-jacket and Tony says “Really?” in disbelief. I love Tony’s reactions to this wacky shit it’s hilarious. Bryan says he thinks Kidd is unconscious, Darby sits him on a steel chair, slaps him twice then tries to put him in the strait-jacket . Is Kidd going to re-enact the Iron Maiden Piece of Mind album artwork? Darby puts him in the jacket. Tony says Darby has gone Wacko, he goes to hit Kidd in the face with the skateboard, but Kidd comes back to life and kicks him low, then throws him into the steps. Kidd now has a cut above his eye. Tony says we should give Kidd credit, he’s been through a lot and is fighting back. The crowd start chanting for Darby, Kidd tries to get out of the jacket but can’t. Bryan says Kidd is mentally ill. Kidd then bites Darby’s head, which is bleeding. Crowd chant You Sick Fuck. Bryan says both of these guys are insane, “how else can you describe that car crash?” Kidd has Darby’s blood in his mouth, then says to the camera he loves this. Kidd slams the coffin lid on Darby’s fingers.

In the ring, Kidd swings the skateboard but misses twice, Darby tries a Scorpion Death Lock but couldn’t get it in because his fingers were messed up (Tony said he couldn’t do it because he had blood in his eyes). Kidd slams Darby onto the upturned skate board. The crowd chant for Darby again, he crawls to the ropes but continues to sell the injured fingers. Kidd tries a piledriver off the top but Darby bites his head and hits an Avalanche Code Red which gets a Holy Shit chant from the crowd. The crowd then chant We Want Tables. Darby tightens the strait-jacket on Kidd and hits a Scorpion Death Drop. Darby goes up top, Kidd kicks the referee into the ropes to crotch Darby, then with no arms manages to hit a Powerslam and a dropkick. Darby rolls to the apron, Kidd launches himself into Darby who falls off the apron but not into the coffin. Darby pulls himself up with the coffin and Kidd tries to close the lid on him, Darby bites Kidd’s nose and Tony says he’s seen it all now. Both men get back in the ring, Darby hits Kidd repeatedly with the skateboard, and follows it up with a Coffin Drop. Then a second Coffin Drop. Darby drags him outside, but Kidd kicks him away. Darby sweeps Kidd’s legs with a belt, goes back in the ring, does his crazy dive to the outside which launches Kidd into the coffin, and the lid closes on him in one fell swoop. Darby wins one of the wackiest matches of all time. Excalibur says Darby won but at what cost.

Winner: Darby Allin

Darby gets a mic, he says he is going to hold the throttle until he sees God or the AEW World Championship. He says MJF, he’s coming for him. 

Excalibur says we’ll hear from Swerve Strickland later. 

Video package of Luchasaurus in his ring gear but with his right arm in a sling sitting in the driver’s seat of a bus and honking the horn as Jack Perry is getting ready. Wow a Dinosaur Man with one arm driving a bus, and that’s not the wackiest thing on the show! Also, it’s not the wackiest thing in this video package as Perry puts a nut in his right hand and a Squirrel leaps up and starts eating it, much to the chagrin of Luchasaurus in the bus. Finally Perry gets on the bus (the Jurassic Express, which also sounds like a newspaper… maybe I’ll start calling the Daily Express that? Hmm…). Luchasaurus sniffs petrol on the way to the arena. We see the bus arriving in the parking lot and Luchasaurus nearly crashes it into a fence. Jack Perry exits and says he teams with two people who are like family to him later in the show - the Young Bucks, who enter the picture, all tasselled up. They say they have to start again to get the top, Nick says they go against Trent Baretta, Rocky Romero and someone they considered to be like family Kazuchika Okada. Luchasaurus yells BITCH which gets no reaction from the crowd. 

Prince Nana is in the ring, he says he wants the crowd to all stand up for Swerve Strickland. He introduces Swerve as “Mr Dangerous”. Strickland sits on a chair in the middle of the ring, the lights go down and a spotlight shines on him. Strickland says the true winners of war are those with power, he says power is more important than championships. He wants power to protect his number one contendership. He says he wants Omega’s power, and says Omega should put his EVP status on the line if Kenny wants him to put his number one contendership on the line.

Renee Paquette is backstage with Speedball Mike Bailey who is one third of the new AEW Trios Champions. Bailey puts over the work he had to do to get to AEW and puts over Kenny Omega and compares himself to Kenny and says he wants to be a future World Champion.

Mark Davis vs. “Speedball” Mike Bailey

Mark Davis makes his entrance, he’s apparently called Dunkzilla, how many Dinosaurs do they need in AEW? His opponent is Mike Bailey, who is wearing a Mistico mask who is one of his partners as the Trios Champions. Davis goes for the power at the start, but Bailey uses his speed to elude him. Davis finally manages to deliver some power moves. Bailey fights back with a missile dropkick off the top and follows up with some of his trademark kicks, hits a running shooting star for a one count. The commentators put over Davis, and Bailey hits a Triangle Moonsault to the outside. Speedball chants from the crowd. Bailey delivers kicks to Davis’ chest at ringside, Davis cuts him off the top rope with a massive chop, then a Suplex into a powerbomb/slam on the apron. Davis poses with his arms folded while sitting on the top rope as the referee counts Bailey out, Bailey gets back in at 7. Bailey counters out of a Superplex in the corner and hits a sit out Powerbomb for a 2. Then a shooting star press off the top for 2. They announce Kenny Omega vs Swerve Strickland for next week’s Dynamite for the #1 contendership and EVP status on the line. Davis and Bailey exchange slaps, Bailey nails a spin kick and both men are down. I noticed Davis has the word Dangerous written on his trunks, which seems odd when that seems to be Swerve’s gimmick. Bailey with chops but Davis drops him with a forearm, and a chop/lariat combo. Then what I’d call a Razor’s Edge, but Excalibur calls a BT Bomb for a 2. Davis goes for a Gutwrench but Bailey floats over and tries a backslide but Davis gets to the ropes to prevent it. Davis turns Bailey inside out with a lariat, follows it up with a Gutwrench into a piledriver but Bailey kicks out at 2. Davis went for a powerbomb but Bailey countered it into a Hurricanrana pin combination for a close 2, Bailey with a back flip into the double knees. Bailey then delivers the Ultimate Weapon for the 3. Wow what a match.

Winner: “Speedball” Mike Bailey

They show MJF’s post Revolution promo, he says he’s the greatest of all time, he says he wants to go down as the greatest of all time, he’s only 30 years old and has a hall of fame career already and plans on wrestling for 20 more years. He says he’s going to go to Disney World. I hope he cleans himself up first.

Okada is backstage with Trent and Rocky Romero, he says The Young Bucks and Jack Perry are stupid. Trent adds that Jack’s bus isn’t cool. Okada says he is loyal to one family, unlike Takeshita who is shaking hands with Jon Moxley. Okada says he teams with Roppongi Vice in the main event (interesting to note Excalibur was calling them RPG vice earlier in the show). Rocky says tonight is about family and their fearless leader Don Callis. Trent says “Love you Don”.

Marina Shafir vs. Mina Shirakawa - No Holds Barred

Marina starts to make her entrance through the crowd, they show earlier in the show backstage Toni Storm laid out. Then to Marina cutting a promo backstage, she plays down whether she attacked Toni or not, but says she’ll fight Mina. Back live, and Marina is removing her socks at ringside and throws them at the commentators, and they are left lost for words. Mina comes out with a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire. Excalibur says it is technically no holds barred. Mina starts swinging the bat as Shafir dodges a few swings but one catches her on the leg, she manages to block another shot, catching Mina’s arm and disarms her, scoop slam and then yells that she doesn’t need a bat, but decides to try and use it anyway, Mina with a drop kick to the knee and the bat goes flying to the outside. Series of kicks from Mina. Mina pulls a bucket out from under the ring with two champagne bottles in it, and then another champagne bottle. She goes to hit Marina with it, but Marina hits her with a Uranage and a trio of Judo throws.

Marina stands over Mina and flips the crowd off. Marina delivers kicks to Mina then goes outside to get a steel chair. Scoop slam onto the chair by Marina. Mina tries to fight back, and Marina drops her again with another scoop slam. She opens a Champagne bottle, drinks from it and hands it to the referee. Tony Schiavone says he’s never seen that before, but tonight is a night for lots of things he’s never seen before. You’re telling me Tony. Marina delivers strikes to Mina in the ropes, picks up the Champagne bottle, drinks from it and spits it in Mina’s face. Mina slaps her and hits a dropkick, as Champagne goes everywhere. Mina does a head scissors into a face plant sending Marina face first into a chair. The crowd get behind Mina as she goes up top with a dropkick, then hits Marina weakly with the chair. Let’s go Mina chant from the crowd. Mina comes off the top with a Slingblade with Marina landing on the chair, and gets a 2 count. Mina delivers two more chair shots and Excalibur points out hardcore matches are not her forte. Mina launches herself over the top rope delivering a splash but Marina rolls her over into the Mother’s Milk submission. Mina gets her feet on the ropes but it’s no holds barred, and manages to wriggle out of the hold. Marina delivers a boot. To borrow another line from Jim Ross, this is bowling shoe ugly.

Mina pulls out a table from under the ring and the fans start chanting Tables. Both women are up on the apron above the table exchanging strikes, Marina gets the better of it and delivers a Back Suplex off the apron through the table, with her taking the brunt of the table bump herself. Holy Shit chant. They show two replays with Mina’s head hitting the floor. Marina goes for a cocky pin but only gets a two count. She strikes Mina in the corner, then gets in the referee’s face and distracts herself, allowing Mina to grab another champagne bottle from the bucket she brought out earlier, smashes it over Marina’s head, hits a spinning back fist and then a weird looking Storm Zero for the win, which Excalibur puts over as an upset. Mina hugs the referee after the match and yells at Marina asking why she attacked Toni Storm. Tony Schiavone says he thinks someone else took out Toni Storm and not Marina Shafir.

Winner: Mina Shirakawa

Backstage Renee Paquette is with Andrade El Idolo and she congratulates him on winning at Revolution. Andrade says he wants the AEW World Championship. Some guy with a tied back pony tail and grey beard interrupts and tries to hand him a briefcase which is apparently from MJF. Don Callis is on this guy’s phone doing a video call, and says he wants Andrade to accept the briefcase full of money, Andrade questions working for MJF, Callis says MJF is paying them a lot of money to take care of Darby Allin. Andrade reluctantly takes the briefcase. I hope he paid him in pesos. 

Main Event: Jack Perry & The Young Bucks (Matt & Nick Jackson) vs. Kazuchika Okada & Roppongi Vice (Trent Baretta & Rocky Romero)

The Bucks come out first and wait ringside for Jack Perry, then all three enter the ring together. Okada has new music. I didn't realise this. Trent & Rocky come out with him. A ton of pyro goes off as Okada does the rainmaker pose. Okada starts with Perry and flips both the Bucks off. Perry gets the better of Okada and flips him off but RPG Vice blindsides him. The Bucks make the save and Okada is left alone with all 3 guys he tries to do the BTE hand sign but they triple team him. This is going to be a wild party match that I’m not going to be able to keep up with covering everything that happens. The Bucks double team Trent then Nick dives to the outside on everyone, Bryan on commentary is enjoying watching the Bucks. Perry with a Moonsault to the outside and he and the Bucks are in complete control but it’s short lived as back inside Rocky grabs hold of Perry’s leg and Trent wipes out both Bucks off the apron, they double team Perry and Okada hits an air raid crash across the knee. Meanwhile Excalibur is plugging all of the matches coming up on Collision which is poor timing as he’s missing big moves in the ring and the Don Callis Family taunt the crowd. Moreover Excalibur didn’t manage to plug all of the matches anyway! 

The heels continue to isolate Perry, commentary says Rocky Romero is a terrible person as he slides across the mat and poses in front of the camera. They do put over Roppongi Vice as a great tag team. Bryan Danielson says Rocky and Trent’s mothers will be disappointed with them. Okada hits a DDT but Matt Jackson breaks up a pin, and Okada looks at him in disbelief. Okada misses a charge in the corner, Perry with chops and a lariat and both men need tags. Nick Jackson gets a hot tag and takes out both Trent and Rocky, went to superkick Okada who ran away to the outside, Nick tags Matt in, then kicks Okada on the outside. Matt with locomotive Northern Lights suplexes to Rocky, then to both Rocky and Trent at the same time. The crowd pops for this and Matt tags Nick in and they both go up top, Nick with a Swanton on Trent and Matt with an Elbow drop to Rocky. Great sequence where Matt & Nick deliver stereo sunset flips and step through into sharpshooters, Okada tries to intercept but Perry cuts him off and puts him in the Snare trap. The heels manage to get to the ropes though. Bucks go for a double team but Okada intercepts Nick with a dropkick as he comes off the top, Rocky gouges Matt’s eyes. Okada with a boot to Perry, Rocky hits him with a Sliced Bread, Trent hits Matt with a running knee and Rocky goes up top. Trent and Rocky hit a double team Dude Buster/Stomp off the top, but Perry makes the save breaking up the pin. Bryan says it was a great save. The heels do the Bucks pose as a trio, then lift the faces up for Tombstone Piledrivers but the faces escape by biting their crotches… on a night of firsts, that’s up there. Bryan says they were yambagged, Taz will approve of that sentence. The Bucks hit a BTE trigger on Rocky, then launch Perry at Rocky who hits a flying knee. Matt gets the pin on Rocky to win the main event.

Winners: Jack Perry and The Young Bucks

Excalibur says it was a rebound victory for the Bucks. Perry hands the mic to Nick and leaves the Bucks in the ring. Nick says they had a great tag match with Jack, but on Sunday they blew it against FTR. They said they were so confident of winning the tag titles, but they said FTR were the better team on Sunday. Matt says he couldn’t look anyone in the eye at his birthday party, but his Dad told them to remember who they are, the best tag team on the planet and the fans still believe in them, and he was proud of them. Matt says his dad isn’t wrong, they will scratch and claw their way back to the top and there isn’t another team who can stop them from getting the Tag Titles.

Cope’s music hits and he walks out with a mic in hand, then Christian’s music plays separately and walks out, still doing the same gimmick. Cope says he never thought he’d see this as the fans chant Holy Shit. Cope says they respect the hell out of the Bucks. Cope said FTR attacked the Bucks’ family but they also attacked his wife Beth, he says he hasn’t been able to look her in the eye for the last six months while they wait to find out if she needs neck surgery or not. Cope says now she’s out of the woods he needed to come back to AEW and take the Tag Team Championships from FTR. Cope says he wanted the Bucks to know that at AEW Dynasty it’s going to be Cope & Cage versus FTR. Cage says it’s deeply personal for everyone, including him because he makes a ton of extra money if he’s a champion. He says they want to prove that they are not just the greatest tag team of their generation but also the greatest tag team of the Bucks generation.

FTR’s music plays and they come out on the stage. Stokely has a mic, tries to speak but Matt and Cope tell him to shut up, so he tells FTR to storm the ring. Cash takes a double super kick from the Bucks and Cope spears Dax. Cage kicks Cash with a low blow. Both Matt and Cope, and Nick and Cage both grab the tag belts at the same time. Nick and Matt let go and then leave the ring as Cope & Cage pose with the tag belts as FTR and the Bucks look on to close the show.

RESULTS